Understanding Messages, Signals, Signs, Gestures

As we journey through life we come to the conclusion that each culture or life style has its own set of rules, standards, signals, signs, communication and gestures. As we look around the world, we see so many different energies that seem to ‘fight’ with each other and ‘attack’ each other, with various forms of cruelty and evil. Even our own gestures we make can offend the people around us and be misread as unfriendly, insulting and judgemental. Understanding messages, signals, signs and gestures can be a tricky experience.

When YOU go out of your way to greet others and you are moving from your Heart to their Heart, you are wanting them to feel your love, your empathy, your friendship, your compassion and, above all, your reverence towards them. However, not always is this so. Not always is it seen this way by the other person you are communicating with.  Your body language is giving out a signal you think is respectful and sacred, and the other person receives it as negative, annoying, judgemental and critical…..

So I ask you:  How are you sure your behaviour will not offend another?  Do you stop your behaviour to please others or do you modify your behaviour to fit in? What do we ‘fight’ about? What do we consider to be ‘evil’? How can a behaviour YOU consider to be peaceful, be offensive to another?  Well I want to share two examples of what happened to me.


At a networking event, WINTRADE, I went up to pitch my work and ended up invoking a prayer and blessing for the audience, calling in God, Buddha, Allah, Great Spirit, which I believe is inclusive. A young woman came up to me to tell me that my prayer was ‘evil’ and not from source!!! telling me she is a ‘born again Christian’ and ‘You should mark my words’ and she would never work with anyone like me!!!  I was so shocked – I smiled politely and walked away. All I had done was make a prayer blessing for everyone in the room.

What was so alarming what what she did next!  She came up to me and put her arms around me in front of the people I was talking to and asked: “Are you still upset by what she said?”  I flipped!  I asked her to take her arms off me and not pretend to be my friend.  In very clear words I let her know that the words she used earlier on me were ‘evil’ and ‘disrespectful’. Considering we were in a gathering that promoted equality and diversity I was shocked and horrified. I left soon after as I had another engagement to go to. I was amazed I could not pretend to be her friend.  I do not like pretending to be a friend to someone who clearly does not like me; and has made it known to me privately, but, in public, wants to pretend they like me and they feel it is OK to treat me that way in private. I am not here to be bullied or intimidated or abused for the work I do.

The next day I pitched my business at RBS and got people to sign up to private sessions with me. Amazing.  Some people said they missed my prayer!!! Many told me they were impressed by my prayer the day before, and they felt touched by my words of power; and were looking forward to hearing me pray for their business. How surprising – well really – how not surprising. Interesting how my behaviour caused two very different results – opposite results.  I was happy for the experience the day before, because if it had not happened I would not have pitched my business with so such authority and confidence. Thank you Universe.


I went to Amsterdam to support my friend Giovana Vega opening up Global Woman Club, Amsterdam.  I was so happy to offer a one hour session as a prize to a raffle ticket winner and ended up offering it to two beautiful ladies who won the tickets.  I had a one to one, one hour session in Amsterdam and the other hour on Skype. It was a wonderful experience supporting them both.  I felt really pleased I was able to help them have immediate results.


On the last day in Amsterdam, I wanted to go sightseeing and we got ourselves two wonderful guides.  They were going to take us to the Red Light district. I was so excited I wanted to greet and honour the ladies and gentlemen at work.

As I bowed and greeted them with the sign of peace – both my palms held together around my heart – I smiled into the eyes of each lady and sent a gesture from my heart to theirs. The ladies responded so wonderfully I felt so happy. But, not for long.

I came across some ladies who did not understand. They thought I was judging them and making a prayer for forgiveness like a Christian Priest or Nun would!!! I was so shocked that my signal of peace was seen as a criticism of their profession and judgement of their lives.  I was so shocked I could not talk for a while.

Even when I greeted the gentlemen dressed as ladies they were a bit confused and some responded and others just looked. Then one opened the door for me thinking I was interested in a session with him. I gracefully bowed and smiled and waved good bye.

My actions were not understood by all the ladies and gentlemen. Some did not even smile. A beautiful lady in a bikini let rip on me and shouted for 5 good minutes while I stood still, then knelt down and let her express her rage. I did not say a word – I did not know what to say. The guide was speaking and the more the guide spoke the more she got angry. After a while I looked up into her eyes and she calmed down.

Our guide was so taken aback by my behaviour and my kindness, he compared me to a healer friend he knew, saying he had never – in all his years of living in Amsterdam – seen anyone give so much respect to the women and men. He told me they were not used to kindness or respect.

Later I made the Hawaiian Ho’oponopono prayer of apology to the ladies and men I offended. Below is the statue honouring the women and men in the profession. I give honour and reverence to all who are in the profession, sending reverence, peace, protection, love and healing.


So you see, my friends, we may mean well, and still offend. Let us always keep sending love where there is pain, suffering and sadness. Let us be mindful of how our actions may offend and really be mindful.

Will this stop me from praying and invoking blessings?  No – this is what I do.  It has taught me that not all welcome prayers or good will. Not all understand what is a message of good will. A gesture of peace – Namaste – is seen as gesture from the Nuns, Priests and Christians – which for some represents deception and abuse of power. A gesture from your heart is misread as sexual and not just a friendly hello.

So did I learn something? Yes I did.   I was pleased that most understood and responded back to me with a smile.  They felt my energy and saw the look in my eyes.  There was an extreme response – I hurt others. I was hurt I had hurt others. I apologised immediately.

However, perhaps I showed them something different from a member of the public. Perhaps because I did not shout back and I was not aggressive, on reflection, the ladies would later realise the energy I came with. Perhaps not. But I like to think that there is a lesson for everyone here.  Sometimes I do not know the gift I give others with my behaviour. As a teacher, a person, a woman, I hope my actions had a positive effect overall.

So do we change our ways? Well we adjust our ways to suit the environment we are in. However, we may not know the rules, signals, omens, signs or messages. We can ask. We all have to learn through experience and are rich with the experience.

So, if you find that your behaviour offends another, please apologise and make peace and not war. We have enough war around us and in us, ready to erupt. Let us be mindful and pause before we attack or abuse or criticise or point a finger or gossip. There is nothing worse than gossip. Please say only kind things to each other and about each other.  Thank you for reading this. Love Toks xxx

Trust the process. Honour each person’s Soul Journey. There is a greater unfolding happening – whether or not we realise this or accept this.

you are awesome


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